Lifeus Interruptus

admin

Now for those of you who do not read Latin,like me and ol Gus.This means life interrupted.Some years ago I was welding on a job which required a weld of 24ft. around a steel box about 20 inches off the ground. I had welded a number of these in the past weeks and as always I was looking for a better way. That concrete floor just did not fit my kneecaps.With or without knee pads.One day, in a stroke of supposed pure genius I took a sit up creeper[the kind used for brake jobs ect.] and pulled it over to the box. Sat down, spread them legs, planted them elbows on them knees a started to weld.YEA BUDDY,NOW WE WE'RE COOKING.Weld 8 inches,roll, weld 8 inches, roll. I guess you could say I was on a roll. Now folks, the key word here is cooking. Only problem was the weld seam was not the only THING being cooked. Unbeknownst to me there was a dime size hole in the crotch of my pants. And since it was summer time I was wearing no underwear.Later in the day an inspection of what was quickly becoming, shall we say, sensitive to the touch, revealed a dime size spot of arc burn right on top of where it had no business. Now boys, let me tell  you. Your love life is over for a while. And that ain't the worst of it. That 320 denier sheet you've been sleeping under. Gunna feel like itl made of lead lined with 320 grit sandpaper. Pants? Don't even dream about a pair that are comfortable. Lots of Alovera gel and 3 or 4 days ought to get you back in your clothes. Now I've had a pretty good laugh writing this and I suspect a few of you have had a pretty good laugh reading it. Thats O.K.  I would advise you however. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. Well............... if you really want to? Go for it............................ PS. This ain't no fairy tale and I don't really read Latin. And for all you airborne types, this lends a new definition to KEEP YOUR FEET AND KNEES TOGETHER.
Reply:Dude,I can relate. Not funny but still funny.
Reply:That's like I always advise student welders doing overheads to stick their gut out hard against their belt if they feel a spark go down their neck.  It only takes once to learn that lesson.
Reply:Vee neck teeshirts are not the best welding wear either.  I have gobs of silkscreened baseball tees from coaching that I wear out to the barn when welding.  It doesn't take long to make a V-shaped burn down my neck and chest.  Best shirt I have to weld in is a collar-less denim shirt buttoned all the way up.  Hot as hades, but you wont get a burn that will keep you up at night.Smithboy...if it ain't broke, you ain't tryin'.
Reply:Worst pain I think I ever had to endure was when a big red hot gobber fell down my tee shirt and rolled right to the bottom of my bellybutton. I about peed my pants!!!!    Alan, I've had various types of welder burn, but nothing even close to that. Does this mean men in a nudist colony have to carefully time exposure to the sun of certain parts of their body?              MikeLast edited by mla2ofus; 05-12-2006 at 10:10 PM.Ol' Stonebreaker  "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes"Hobart G-213 portableMiller 175 migMiller thunderbolt ac/dc stick Victor O/A setupMakita chop saw
Reply:Alan,Until I read that story, you were a "WeldingWeb Journeyman." But you've earned a special (how shall we say it?) ... "handle." Just look at the tag under your name.  You said 3-4 days is how long it takes to get your clothes back on? I think that's about when we'll give you your old title back.  Thanks for sharing.Bob RosenbaumFormer PublisherPenton's WELDING Magazine
Reply:  Didn't your mama ever tell you to always wear clean underwear in case you were in an accident???Your story reminds me of a good friend of mine in Central Texas who once had, uh shall we say "relations" with a young lady in the middle of a Texas hay pasture.  The pasture was "Johnson" grass (appropriate enough).  He was 15 at the time.  Now in Texas, Johnson Grass is typically FULL of chiggers - little bitty critters that you can't see but burrow under your skin and bite the heck out of you.  When you get into them, you'll be scratching for days.Well, my buddy got COATED with chiggers in a very private location.  We're talking about HUNDREDS of chigger bites in a concentrated area.A few days after their tyrst he started being really, really uncomfortable down there, as all them little chigger bites are starting to swell up and create pus.  He finally had to tell his dad that he had some serious problems.  His Dad took one look and took him to the doctor.Poor kid, he's really sweating it now.  Not only the pain, but also some major embarrassment.  The doctor gets the story, studies the situation, looks him straight in the eye, and tells him that "we might have to amputate it".  Talk about freaking out!The 15 year old young lady that he was with had similar problems, and she had to tell HER DAD.  You can imagine how the conversation went when Dad called my friend.  My poor buddy was having a major leage bad week, to say the least.Anyway, some special cream and time took care of the situation, but to this day, we still call him "Chigger Man".
Reply:I can relate to just about all them stories. When i was in the US air farce ( U S A F ) , i was on a grass cutting detail ,using "idiot sticks" , i got a lot of chiggerbites in the privates area,&i scratched it, not knowing i had cut some poison oak, & had wiped off the weeds &poison oak off the cutter with my hands , then scratched my privates ! THEN....i spent a week in the Base Hospital with a large set of corporals (too swollen to be called  privates) . Funny , NOW ... but a serious hurt ,then .
Reply:Originally Posted by mla2ofus Does this mean men in a nudist colony have to carefully time exposure to the sun of certain parts of their body? Mike
Reply:Stick welder huh? Well, I can tig and I can mig but all of the [real] stick rods I've burned would not fill a five gallon bucket half full.
Reply:Has anyone ever welding in tennis shoes and had splatter decide to burn through to your toes ..... Now thats a new white boy dance....
Reply:Isnt that why you drink a lot of beer when you weld?(ok,I'm sorry, it sorta slipped out)
Reply:The Official WeldingWeb Board of Ridiculous Titles For People Who Do Ridiculous Things is pleased to announce that we have returned Mr. Waters to his earned and original user title as of this morning, Tuesday, May 16. He wore his special title, "Some kind of stick welder" with grace for 3 days.Again, we thank him for sharing.Bob RosenbaumFormer PublisherPenton's WELDING Magazine