Since Hand-Grenades are a no-no..

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I tried a new slant to the old 'Complaint Department - Take a Number' novelty item.Looks wicked, but it's welded solid.Add your own instructions, Attached Images
Reply:Seen a couple of those, "Push button for service".
Reply:"Please be seated, a customer service representative will be with you shortly." City of L.A. Structural; Manual & Semi-Automatic;"Surely there is a mine for silver, and a place where gold is refined. Iron is taken from the earth, and copper is smelted from ore."Job 28:1,2Lincoln, Miller, Victor & ISV BibleDanny