What are yalls welding sayings?

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It's became almost a competition around the shop to have the funniest/craziest welding sayings. Here is a classic example I'm sure a lot have seen.http://www.weldingtipsandtricks.com/...nd-beatin.htmlI also like, "I can weld a cat's *** to a plate of glass."GO!
Reply:he can weld a fart underwater...
Reply:I'd rather have a sister in a whore house, than a brother who welds like you.UA Local 598
Reply:I can weld anything but a broken heart and the crack of dawnkeep the hood down and the light onif the sparks ain't flyin' your a-dyin'beat to fit, paint to match
Reply:Let's go piss some wire!
Reply:You want the bottom bead on that pipe to look like the top bead???.....F*** up  the top bead next too !!
Reply:Always remember the abc's of welding..... Always Be Comfortable."Where's Stick man????????" - 7A749"SHHHHHH!! I sent him over to snag that MIC-4 while tbone wasn't looking!" - duaneb55"I have bought a few of Tbone's things unlike Stick-Man who helps himself" - TozziWelding"Stick-man"
Reply:To get your pardner to stop on the bottom so you finish it, you say,  "Let me f **** it up"Compliment for making a pretty weld, "you going to leave that like that?".Response to being called slow, "yea I'm slow, but I'm not very good either!!!"Last edited by slowhand; 10-07-2010 at 07:14 PM.
Reply:I'm a member of w.a.s.p. Welders Against Stupid Pipefitters.  "Put me on maxine and a hundred"Last edited by slim83; 10-07-2010 at 07:49 PM.Reason: added more
Reply:Dont remember who I stole this from..."You can always tell an old pipe welder...you just cant tell him much!"I'm not a welder, but I do sit next to one at the bar.
Reply:"tight arc = good spark"for an ugly weld- "did a seagull fly over and crap on the job?""blind as a welder's dog""he gets less pentration than a nun""if it doesn't fit then you need a bigger hammer""my dog can weld better than that"for a terrible paint job- "more runs than bradman" (don bradman was a famous aussie cricketer)
Reply:The video is great.  Thanks for sharing.Slim 83:  What is/ who is Maxine?
Reply:Originally Posted by stamp"he gets less pentration than a nun"
Reply:Another redneck term for maximum range on ur welding machine
Reply:I was gonna say that gaps tighter than a nun's cu........ but I don't want to offend any women. As a matter of fact I don't know many welder sayings that are pg or even pg- 13
Reply:If you can't weld good, weld a lotA grinder and paint will make a welder what he ain'tIs this your first day?Looks ok for your first time
Reply:"Burn it in hot isnt a WPS"Vantage 500's LN-25's, VI-400's, cobramatics, Miller migs, synch 350 LX, Powcon inverters, XMT's, 250 Ton Acurrpress 12' brake, 1/4" 10' Atlantic shear,Koikie plasma table W/ esab plasmas. marvel & hyd-mech saws, pirrana & metal muncher punches.
Reply:"its pulled like a schoolboy" -when the heat from the weld has distorted the job
Reply:Just Weld ItMM350P/Python/Q300MM175/Q300DialarcHFHTP MIG200PowCon300SMHypertherm380ThermalArc185Purox oaF350CrewCab4x4LoadNGo utilitybedBobcat250XMT304/Optima/SpoolmaticSuitcase12RC/Q300Suitcase8RC/Q400Passport/Q300Smith op
Reply:"If you can walk across it I can weld across it""I am so good I can weld toilet paper""Putty and paint will make it what it ain't"Disclaimer; "I am just an a$$hole welder, don't take it personally ."
Reply:Welding on air.=Welding ones poor fit up.PeterEquipment:2  old paws2  eyes (that don't look so good)1  bad back
Reply:Better put a bolt through that if you want it to hold
Reply:When I over-hear a welder bragging about how good or slick he is,   I will reply,   [[ "You couldn't weld two life-savers together with a piece of bubble gum" ]]When I over-hear a welder bragging about how slick he is on stainless ,  I'll reply,   [[ " Ive had more stainless in my eye than you've ever welded" ]]If its a hot humid day & they continue bragging , I'll wait til break or lunch , and when they are away from their work area ,  I'll take a pack of grape powdered cool-aid , then pour it in the head band of his hood & in each glove.    He'll be sweatin' purple and his hands will be stained purple.  LOL   I'm a seasoned welder- very passionate about welding since 1988.     Let your welding do the talkin'   and  TURN ME UP 10
Reply:“Looks like that weldin hoods got a newbie hangin out of its @ss.”Newbie, fitter, electrician, plumber, machinist, foreman, pick whatever fits the situation.Will
Reply:After handing a repaired part to someone so they can put it back in the machine it came out of, I always tell them "Don't put this back in until the weld has dried".Did y'all ever hear of a california pancake welding hood. Its missing the strap and got a dildo for a mouthpiece
Reply:Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
Reply:I can weld a copenhagen lid to a 55gal drumwhat good that does ??Backed my CATMA over your CARMA oops clusmy me  What would SATAN do ?? Miller Trailblazer 302 AirPakMiller Digital Elite  Optrel Welding HatArcair K4000Suitcase 12RC / 12 VSHypertherm PM-45Rage 3 sawRusty old Truck
Reply:Check my signatureA man who can't weld is as poorly educated as a woman who can't sew
Reply:So, a woman who can weld, how does that compare to a man who can sew?
Reply:Originally Posted by TaidenSo, a woman who can weld, how does that compare to a man who can sew?
Reply:Because I can sew, quite well actually. Better than I can weld, but that's fair since I just started class a month ago.
Reply:Good welding is lots faster than good grinding.
Reply:"Did Stevie Wonder weld that?"
Reply:Ray Charles did it  Last edited by killdozerd11; 10-13-2010 at 10:18 PM.Reason: oopsBacked my CATMA over your CARMA oops clusmy me  What would SATAN do ?? Miller Trailblazer 302 AirPakMiller Digital Elite  Optrel Welding HatArcair K4000Suitcase 12RC / 12 VSHypertherm PM-45Rage 3 sawRusty old Truck
Reply:Ya' can't weld rust or Bondo!
Reply:Originally Posted by slim83Did y'all ever hear of a california pancake welding hood. Its missing the strap and got a dildo for a mouthpiece
Reply:Used these today. "Couple coats of paint will hide it" and "that looks alright from 100 yards"
Reply:Burn rod or burn gas!Light up or lite out!Complaints about poor lighting----You've got all the light you need at the end of the rod!"The man of great wealth owes a peculiar obligation to the State, because he derives special advantages from the mere existence of government."  Teddy RooseveltAmerican by birth, Union by choice!  Boilermakers # 60America is a Union.
Reply:Looks good from my houseDisclaimer; "I am just an a$$hole welder, don't take it personally ."
Reply:If I ever go to prison, I hope you welded the bars together!!!I've been around the world three times, talked to everybody twice, seen cows crawl, crows fight and buzzards f@#$! I seen three goat ropers and two world's fairs, I even seen a dog swim on his back one time... But, I ain't never seen no S@#$ like what you just did!!Nice work, does your husband weld too??Weldtek
Reply:Oh yeah, one of my personal favorites,That looks like a bear's *** sewn up with a grapevine!Weldtek
Reply:my favorite-"good enough for the girls we roll with"Hobart Handler 140Lincoln AC/DC Arc WelderRand 100amp Tig/Arc WelderHobart XVS Hood customized by Water Magic ImagingSoutheastern Illinois College
Reply:Originally Posted by WeldtekI've been around the world three times, talked to everybody twice, seen cows crawl, crows fight and buzzards f@#$! I seen three goat ropers and two world's fairs, I even seen a dog swim on his back one time... But, I ain't never seen no S@#$ like what you just did!!
Reply:Me too. --------There was a calf back there sucking on that tit you left hanging down on the bottom of that last weld.
Reply:Turkey sh*t on a hoe handle !Miller TrailBlazer 251Miller HF-250-1Miller MaxStar 150 STLHyperTherm PowerMax 380 plasmaLincoln PowerMig 180Millermatic 252Miller Diversion 180
Reply:OK, did you hand out rain coats yet?master manipulator of molten metal.That's a crooked as my d**k, wanna see it?Miller TrailBlazer 251Miller HF-250-1Miller MaxStar 150 STLHyperTherm PowerMax 380 plasmaLincoln PowerMig 180Millermatic 252Miller Diversion 180
Reply:When a BFH is being used--------Hit it with your purse!It'll either come, bleed or blister!Can't see it from the house."The man of great wealth owes a peculiar obligation to the State, because he derives special advantages from the mere existence of government."  Teddy RooseveltAmerican by birth, Union by choice!  Boilermakers # 60America is a Union.
Reply:"Gap big enough to throw a cat through" My old boss used to say" Just slop it up" and my personal favorite " It ain't a big job unless you kill a few men"Years ago insurance companies actually expected to loose X amount of men for every 100 Million construction costs, So we adopted the saying. In those days a big job was 200-500 million so figure 4-5 guys. Strange way to look at it and even sicker sense of humor but after all we are talking about welders and construction guys so what do you expect."Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum"Lincoln Idealarc 250 AC/DCMillermatic 251   Syncrowave 300   30A spoolgunLincoln MP210Hypertherm 45(2) LN 25(2) Lincoln Weldanpower 225 CV(4) SA200   1 short hood    SA250    SAM 400
Reply:"Too bad for the rest of us, you had Helen Keller for your weld instructor"----------------------------------      "10 seconds or 10 feet of walking is my weld guarantee"