Tools and their proper use:

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SKIL SAW:A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short. BELT SANDER:An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs intomajor refinishing jobs. WIRE WHEEL:Cleans paint and rust off of bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh crap !'. DRILL PRESS:A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stockout of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beeracross the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefullyset in the corner where nothing could get to it. Channel Locks:Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation ofblood-blisters. HACKSAW:One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... Ittransforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the moreyou attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE-GRIPS:Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothingelse is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat tothe palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH:Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop andcreating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub outof which you want to remove a bearing race. BUZZBOX:Also referred to as an "arc welder."  It's uses are similar to that of the oxyacetylenetorch to start fires in the corners of your garage and effectively burn holes into pieces of sheet metal.  It has the  added benefit  of  instantly giving the novice user the ability to weld up a trailer hitch and a skyscraper.   CHIPPING HAMMER: Primarily used as a hand held manual "jack hammer" device.  Used to createlarge dents, dings, divots and cavity like craters into a finely welded joint.  ABRASIVE "CHOP" SAW:Used as a "back up" bench grinder when the object to be ground is applied Laterally and on the side of the blade, instead of the cutting edge itself.  The ideal tool for hurling small chunks  of shrapnel and broken blade chunksinto the face of the operator.TABLE SAW:A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles fortesting wall integrity.  Very effective for digit removal !! HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed yournew brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. BAND SAW:A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut largepieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash,  after you cuton the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also good for DigitRemoval ! TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgotto disconnect. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-stylepaper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also beused, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slottedscrews into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. PRY BAR:A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you neededto remove in order to replace a 50 cent part. PVC PIPE CUTTER:A tool used to make plastic pipe too short. HAMMER:Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as akind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the objectwe are trying to hit. UTILITY KNIFE:Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons deliveredto your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinylrecords, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, andrubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes and thumbs, butonly while in use.Lincoln Power Mig 216Lincoln AC/DC-225/125Miller  625 X-Treme PlasmaMiller 211 Forney 95FI-A 301HF 91110Victor Journeyman O/PMilwaukee DaytonMakita  Baileigh NRA Life Member
Reply:The Phillips screwdriver also doubles as a punch. Just ask my wifeNickESAB CaddyTig 2200iPowermax 45MM140 (Sold)
Reply:spot on. can i have your business card?
Reply:thanks super a. just sprayed hot tea on my monitor. my first laugh of the day.i.u.o.e. # 15queens, ny and sunny fla
Reply:spot on +1  thank-you...
Reply:LMAO The buzzbox is so true. I'd say I almost schitt my pants laughing. Almost isn't relative. My almost has lumps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Arcon Workhorse 300MSPowcon 400SMTPowcon SM400 x 2Powcon SM3001968 SA200 Redface1978 SA250 DieselMiller Super 32P FeederPre 1927 American 14" High Duty LatheK&T Milwaukee 2H Horizontal MillBryan
Reply:and I quote, "most any tool makes a good hammer; except for screwdrivers, as they are best for prying."bosses stuff:trailblazer 325maxstar 200my stuff:sa 200fronius transpocket 180100 amp Lincoln w/f97 f350 DITKevin
Reply:That's pretty good.  I think the hacksaw description was my favorite.  Probably because that's still the closest description of how it works for me, despite lots of practice!Miller Dynasty 200 DXMiller CP-300 with 30A feederHypertherm Powermax 900Oxy-fuel w/Harris torchesScotchman Glide-in bandsawMonarch 10EE latheEmi-Mec Autoturn latheDeckel FP2NC milling machinePro-Tools 105 Bender
Reply:sledgehammer: when you f**ked up but don't really want to fix ittorque-wrench: effective in finding the torque it takes to pull that stud out of your out-dated headany 3/32" welding rod: often used for fastening fire-blankets, buckets, chipping hammers, levels, tapemeasures, etc. to surrounding structurehope I can try and addLast edited by 92dlxman; 01-21-2014 at 12:11 AM.bosses stuff:trailblazer 325maxstar 200my stuff:sa 200fronius transpocket 180100 amp Lincoln w/f97 f350 DITKevin
Reply:What about a left handed crescent wrench?
Reply:Originally Posted by 92dlxmansledgehammer: when you f**ked up but don't really want to fix ittorque-wrench: effective in finding the torque it takes to pull that stud out of your out-dated headany 3/32" welding rod: often used for fastening fire-blankets, buckets, chipping hammers, levels, tapemeasures, etc. to surrounding structurehope I can try and add
Reply:Originally Posted by 92dlxmansledgehammer: when you f**ked up but don't really want to fix it......hope I can try and add
Reply:Great stuff. I hate being bi-polar it's awsomeMy Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys
Reply:This forum is always good for a laugh when you really need oneSent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk 2Backed my CATMA over your CARMA oops clusmy me  What would SATAN do ?? Miller Trailblazer 302 AirPakMiller Digital Elite  Optrel Welding HatArcair K4000Suitcase 12RC / 12 VSHypertherm PM-45Rage 3 sawRusty old Truck
Reply:Originally Posted by GhostWhat about a left handed crescent wrench?
Reply:Originally Posted by SuperArcYes, please feel free to add to the list! Good one!
Reply:I sometimes refer to hammers as "Precision Alignment Tools". One British guy had a 2 pound drilling hammer he used to straighten out apprentices who screwed up - the hammer's name was Mr. Slammy."USMCPOP" First-born son: KIA  Iraq 1/26/05Syncrowave 250 w/ Coolmate 3Dialarc 250, Idealarc 250SP-175 +Firepower TIG 160S (gave the TA 161 STL to the son)Lincwelder AC180C (1952)Victor & Smith O/A torchesMiller spot welder
Reply:Originally Posted by BistineauWelding gloves, Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.Electric hand drill, Normally used to spin pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.Air compressor, A machine that takes energy produced in a coal burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pnuematic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts which were last over tightened 30 years ago by someone at Ford, and instantly rounds off their heads. Also used to instantly snap off lug nuts.Hammer(additional to first post above) Some home workmen use them to make gaping holes in walls while trying to hang pictures. Still others use it to remove nails from the ends of fingers and thumbs resulting in odd discoloration.E-Z Out Bolt and Stud extractor, A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off neatly in bolt holes thereby  ending  any possible future use.Damnit tool, Any handy tool that you might grab incorrectly and poke yourself and then throw across the shop while yelling "DAMN IT" at the top of your lungs. It is also , most often the next tool you will need, and can't find where it landed.
Reply:Originally Posted by SuperArcThanks, I just spit my morning coffee all over my shirt!
Reply:from today:caster wheels: for when things are just too freakin heavy. (note to caster-wheel fitter, they do not work well when placed with a any camber) im just the dumb, beady-eyed welder so im scott freebosses stuff:trailblazer 325maxstar 200my stuff:sa 200fronius transpocket 180100 amp Lincoln w/f97 f350 DITKevin